She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
