scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
