Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
