I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
