420 ftw
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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