i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize