Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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