He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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