You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
