just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Randomize
