Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
