Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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