Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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