im six kinds of drunk right now
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
