I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
