what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
