saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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