pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
