at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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