Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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