20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
