Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
