I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
