Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
