i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My bed smells like the plague
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