i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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