508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
