what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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