sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize