She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
NoShamevember. You game?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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