I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
where does the pee come out of this thing
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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