It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
