I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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