whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
