Me too!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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