ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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