I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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