So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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