ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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