just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
