Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
