It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
