Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
