these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
