i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
