im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
