I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
