What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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