Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
