Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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