How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
