Where did you get a picture of my penis
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
