Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize