started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
