my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
