i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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