sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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