Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
