If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I have feelings that need drinking.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
