Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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