Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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