I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
