I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
