Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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