Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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