sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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