Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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