Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
