This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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