a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
