you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
