Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.

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(812): View more from Indiana

gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar

(219): View more from Indiana

I need you to use more vowels.

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(772): View more from Florida

He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...

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(917): View more from New York City

Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.

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(616): View more from Michigan

i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.

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(314): View more from Missouri

When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?

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(218): View more from Minnesota

The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.

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