This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
