I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
