It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
