can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize